You may feel like your life is running out of control… or, you feel controlled by something or someone else. Anger issues, eating disorders, unhealthy relationship patterns, and, yes - drugs and alcohol are all problem areas that can consume you. It's a scary thing to feel like you have no control - but life doesn’t have to stay that way.
The Jairus Teen Twelve Step Group is a place where young people are finding the strength & honesty to look their challenges right in the face, and overcome them with education and support. The group is facilitated by Jairus Agency staff and volunteers, who participate as group members in the activities and discussions.
Mandatory referrals come from several sources - probation officers, school officials, and parents… and sometimes, young people come on their own accord, because they want to take steps in a positive direction. The group is free of charge, and is based on the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. We use a text called “Young, Sober, and Free” by Shelley Marshall as a reference, but most sessions are formatted as group discussions on specific topics, depending on which step we are on. Right from the very first session, the group is designed to help members know that this is a safe place for them to be honest about their challenges.
For more information about Teen Twelve Step, or to sign up, please contact the Jairus office.
Some important things to know about the group:
1. It is a judgment-free place – everyone is respected, and no one is looked down upon.
2. It is a confidential place - what is said here stays here!
3. We are all here to work through our own challenges – not our parents’, our friends’, our enemies’, our teachers’, our other group members’…
4. We all speak for ourselves, not for others. Each of us gets a chance to speak, but none of us are forced to speak.
A few of the topics that we focus on:
Honesty with ourselves, with our Higher Power, and with trustworthy people that will support us as we face our challenges. This means that we choose to drop our excuses for our out-of-control behavior, and call it like it is. “I am in this situation because I have a problem with _______________________. Not because my probation officer said I have a drug problem… not because my teachers think I have an anger issue… not because that ‘stupid backstabber’ sold me out…” We cannot take steps towards a healthy life if we don’t admit that we have some character defects. At the same time, we also are honest about the character strengths that we have. The very fact that we come to this group on a regular basis reveals something good about us.
A higher power - no matter who or what we call it, the 12 Steps only work when we acknowledge that there is something out there that is more powerful than us. Some of us call it God, others call it a Higher Power… but the point is, we recognize that we are not the ultimate power, and that our Higher Power can give us the strength to overcome challenges that we cannot face by ourselves.
The best kind of control is self-control –basically, the ability to choose the right thing, rather than the easy thing. Lack of self-control leads to control by something or someone outside of myself. If I have an anger management issue, and I get set off by the littlest thing that someone says or does that I don’t like, then I am like a puppet… literally controlled by the actions, comments, and attitudes of others. If I have a drug addiction and I keep using, even though I know the negative consequences it brings, then I am controlled by that drug. Carried to the extreme, if I don’t control myself to live according to the laws of the land, then I lose my opportunity to exhibit self-control – I end up being controlled by police officers, courts, juries, judges, probation officers, prison guards… When you think about it, it makes perfect sense – When we use self-control, we are able to stay in control of our choices. When we do not use self-control, we end up in situations where we are not in control of our actions, our choices, and our lives.
It is our fundamental belief that not enough is expected from teenagers these days in our society, but that they are very capable of solid accomplishments and mature attitudes. Historically, youth have been recognized as adults in many cultures, as early as the age of 13. Indeed, kings have led nations at this young age! We believe that that the primary separation point between our teens, and those of other times, is not their capability – but responsibility. Not much is given, because not much is required. Young people receive the suggested societal mindset that there is nothing for them “to do” until, at least, high school graduation at age 18. Most kids who get into trouble report to us that they felt like there was nothing better to do. We believe that positive affirmation in the area of responsibility produces positive results, both in the group and in the lives of the young people who attend. AND, we see these results on a regular basis.
For more information about Teen Twelve Step, or to sign up, please contact the Jairus office.
In the following steps, the word “alcohol” can be replaced with any addictive or controlling behaviors – drugs, eating disorders, anger, etc.
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Lauren's story -
Teen 12-step Group
"During the process of the 12 step group, I have worked out a lot of problems in my life. The counselors that help me, and the others, through are excellent. It may seem a little too intense in the beginning, but as you follow through with the group and you put effort into it yourself, you get a lot out of it and make new friends during the process."
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Lauren's Story
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