Mr. Decker’s Blog

I was reading in my Bible this morning, and it struck me that so much of what was written there was meant to ENCOURAGE the reader. I happened to be going through one of Paul’s letters to the people in Corinth, and he was really trying to build them up – you know, the self esteem thing. He was telling them that he was proud, he was referring to their guaranteed good future… he went all out to make them feel good about who they were.

And then, I thought about what I read on the writings of the internet… the empty chatter of the IM world… the meaningless forwarding of email junk… the mind mushing matter of the myspace messages (yes, I have a myspace place) and I thought how much of a waste most words have become. Instead of bringing encouragement and benefit – language has dissolved into a way to kill time. Read the latest messages sent along the messaging mainstream and see if you feel encouraged.

Words are power. We all possess that power and can use it for destruction, or peace… criticism or blessing. Our choices are on the screen in front of us. Some of you teenagers who hit this space are gifted writers… but you aren’t giving away any presents to others. Some of us adults can’t recall the last time we read a good book (how about the Good-est one?) or received a handwritten letter from an old friend.

Technology is great… speed is helpful… but there is no way to shortcut a compliment… or an encouraging message. It takes time… and thought. Old Paul put a lot of it into his words… and here I am – still reading them 2,000 years later. If someone read your myspace comments in a couple of thousand years, would they feel like they missed out on something in not having known you? Would your words make them want to dig deeper and discover who you were?

Just a thought that I was thinking…

When my kids were small, I taught them basic life lessons like learning to tie their shoes. I noted that one primary aspect of the human spirit emerges early on… people like to try ‘doing’ the very thing that they are learning. For instance, when my daughter was shown how to tie the loops in her laces, the next thing she said was “Let me do it!”

This fact provides insight as to why many juveniles feel frustrated in school. From the age of six (or earlier) they are provided instruction in skills like Math, English and History… but there is little or no opportunity to put the learned concepts into practice. This causes many youths to exclaim, “What do I need to know this for?” a question that never seems to get answered with anything more than, “You may need it after you graduate.” Even practical opportunities for hands on experiences in subjects like wood shop, metal working, and home economics are not offered any longer in the standard school classrooms. Thus, achievement becomes a nebulous concept, and the human spirit suffers loss.

When youth are not expected to achieve or accomplish tangible results, they tend to rise to the level of expectations that are placed on them… Kids don’t do much… and idle time produces poor behavior choices. Throughout human history, citizens of nations have been recognized as adults by the age of thirteen… Teenaged kings have ruled empires with authority at such an age… They were not different in nature than today’s youth – but the expectations put on them were very different. Our youth today will rise to better expectations if they are asked to do so… But they learn through doing, as they always have… In fact we all do. When was the last time you read a complete instruction manual for your cell phone or cd player before trying it out? A popular commercial chants the phrase “Doing things is what I like to do.” Why not our teens? We will all benefit from the experience.

It will be here that you and I can check in on thoughts regarding youth, family and community issues. From my desk in the Jericho church of Middleboro, Massachusetts, I can watch as area kids struggle with identity and purpose. We are doing whatever we can to alleviate their concerns and distresses… but the task is large, and on certain days, overwhelming.

At a recent Jairus Teen 12-Step meeting in our offices, I asked how many of the gathered youth felt ‘hopeless’. All of them raised their hands – about twenty teenagers altogether saying that they had nothing to look forward to in their lives. What kind of future is embraced in a spirit of despair and depression? How does that sadness affect their daily choices regarding behavior? Yet, when we enable these youth to perform community service – or to feel validated by listening to them, a transformation begins…

The Jairus Agency believes in the fundamental principle that the human spirit benefits by sacrifice… Many of our young people have never found this realization to be true within themselves, and thus, spend their idle time in self-absorbed efforts to find personal entertainment. This process often leads to criminal behaviors that may allow youths to feel the pain of personal boredom lifted – if but for a moment but cause community and family to be neglected to the detriment of self… Self destructive behaviors multiply as youth are not empowered to see how their poor choices affect others around them.

How much better to change the inner self and become a person that contributes positively to the needs of others around them? Temporary measures to medicate or alleviate personal pain, are replaced by dynamic soul level changes that spring outward into personal behaviors. When a person feels valued – they pour that same value out of their lives.

There is an old Indian Proverb that goes “Whatever fills you up, spills over when you are bumped.” Many of today’s youth spill out anger and frustration – confusion and pain, for that is what they are full of. Through careful measures of intervention Jairus seeks to fill juveniles with hope and positive beliefs – causing them to instead, spill over value and esteem into their surroundings… And, it works. Read some of the testimonials of our anonymous 12-Step teenagers, and then read the ancient words of Jesus of Nazareth… who taught that it is more blessed to give than to receive…